The Tudors: Season 1

I had thought to post this at Fictitious, but since this series is based on true history, I was reluctant to do so.

Yet, it is fictitious in a sense.  Who can know what Henry and Anne spoke of in their private moments or what deals were made in back rooms? 

I do not have Showtime, but in my area Showtime has been heavily advertising season 3 of this series.  Although I am a historical drama junkie, I had managed to keep away from this series.  What on earth could possibly make it entertaining when I know everything about Henry the VIII?  So it was my boredom that lead me to order season one and I expected to be totally bored by the same Henry story we have all read or seen in other films.  I was totally and happily surprised! 

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What is Sexy?

Just a short post...

I just scanned through Entertainment Weekly's 50 Sexiest Movies Ever and many or most I didn't consider the least bit sexy. 

Now it seems to me -- all of us being different, we have different definitions of sexy.  I would think even Entertainment Weekly would realize that not everyone is turned on by the same types of things, but I guess not. 

What I think is worse is that somewhere there are some young women and/or men that think EW knows such things and try to be sexy in that EW way and thereby turn off much of the population and end up wondering why they never meet their "soulmate."

November 15th

Today is my sister Becky's birthday and the first that I have spent without her.  Had she lived, she would have been 56 years old.

I feel sad and confused. 

I still remember that day the medical examiner called me.  Although I knew he was calling about someone being dead -- I honestly didn't think it would be her.  It is one of those times in my life when I have been caught off guard and totally surprised by something.

All I can say is that I miss her. 

Many people missed her, especially the school she taught at and all her students (she was a special ed teacher).  They wanted a big memorial service, but I had to say no.  She didn't want that and I could not go against her wishes.

I do know that she touched some of her students lives, from stories I have heard.  That would have been all that she would hoped for and I must be happy with that also. 

Doesn't keep me from missing her.  Christmas will be very hard this year.  Two sisters gone in about 2 years.  At times it feels like more than I can bear.  However, I will continue for how ever long I have and I will do my best to find joy in whatever there is.  We can't waste our lives being sad about what could have been, we must continue on as if the bad things were only minor setbacks.  We must predetermine to be happy even though that doesn't heal all pain.

Although I have not been depressed in a horrible way -- like hoping or planning for death, I have had more than a bit of depression to deal with these past two years.  Right about the time I felt I was emerging from the cocoon of my sister Debi's death -- I had Becky's death to deal with.  This seemed to take form in me not getting anything done.  I would put off my normal appointments (like the dentist for months and months).  My house was even more messy than normal.  Even making it to the post office to mail packages never happened. I did still blog, but that was about all of my normal activities that I keep up with.

It is only now that I sit here with my teeth and mouth in constant pain that I realize what form my depression took.  In the past, I would have neve gone more than 6 months without seeing a dentist.  However, over the past two years I have been unwilling to leave the house except for the most basic need -- such as food.  The pain finally drove me to a dentist, but if it hadn't happened I likely would still ignoring it even though I could visiably see how much I needed a dentist.

I suppose that I expected depression to take a traditional form, but instead it took the form of isolation and apathy.  I could get by without calling that depression and there by enabling myself.  Now that I fully realize it, I must take action against it and try to move on.

Blond wood tables and other memories

I have been wondering why some things I grew up with I still totally love and others I hate.

The blond wood table in the photo is an example of something I hate.  In fact, I grew up with a table that looked exactly like that.  I don't totally hate the style, but I HATE blond wood.  I remember always hating the blond wood.  Britton also grew up with blond wood in the house and hates it.  Both of us have really ornate type taste and can often be found haunting the antique and thirft stores in search of art nouveau style items.

There are other things I now hate that I grew up with and liked at the time.  Miracle Whip springs to mind.  We never had mayo, always Miracle Whip and I even remember the first time I tasted mayo -- I knew I would never like MW again.  My sisters on the other hand never liked mayo and always felt MW was the best because it is what they grew up with.

There are some things I grew up with that I don't feel that way about.  I grew up in a red brick house and I still love red brick houses.  We had a big backyard with a cement patio and I still feel all yards should have a patio, even though mine doesn't. 

There are some things I miss -- like when I grew up most of our bedding consisted of quilts my grandmother had made and pillow cases that she had embroidered.  I still have one of her quits, but it is unfinished -- without the backing or whatever they call it, but all the actual quilting is done.  I would be terrified to use that quilt to actually sleep under, but all my bedding is store bought and that doesn't seem quite right either.

So there are certain things that although we learn to live with as adults never seem quite right.  Other things seem perfectly right and we wonder why they were ever done differently.  I still am not sure what the difference is, but mostly I think it comes down to personal taste.  Blond wood furniture is not my taste.  However, sleeping with blankets and pillow cases that much love and work was put into is -- there is something extra cozy about that.

Fall to Winter

I heard that today is considered the first day of Fall. 

It doesn't really feel like it here, but there are signs.  Some of my trees have some leaves turning from green to gold.  I love when the Virginia creeper turns red and when the sun hits it right it looks like something on fire, but it is nowhere near that yet, still very green.

I love the Fall except that it reminds me that winter is on the way.  I don't like the winter. 

Many people seem to have a misconception that New Mexico doesn't get cold.  Well, let me tell you -- it does.  Not midwest ice storm type cold, but cold.  Go further north, like up to Taos and you are talking really cold. 

A couple years ago when we had the most amazing snow storm that left us snowed in for 3 days, the photos above are from that storm. 

Luckily, I always prepare when I hear it may snow.  There is a good reason for that -- I don't live in town and they often close the highway and roads to and from Albuquerque.  So if you don't have everything you need you are screwed until they open the roads again.

However, I did learn something during those 3 days.  Even though we had everything thing we needed the mere fact that we couldn't leave bothered us.  The highway and paved roads were not closed that whole time, but we couldn't even get out of our driveway and the dirt roads that go through the canyon to our house were not much better.  There is something about not being able to leave that is for mobile modern people very distasteful and almost frightening.  Perhaps it is different for people who are used to that happening every winter, but it made me feel trapped.

Of course, I could not feel more trapped than my cat, James Bond.  Bond is is so funny when it snows because he so wants to go out.  He makes me open the door and then he stands there a bit before deciding the weather is too bad.  He then turns around and looks at me, like I am somehow causing this or allowing it just to keep him from going out.  

Cats and humans aren't so different -- we are both grumpy and need someone to blame for it.